Thoughts on narcissists by:
(This is in response to a post on quora)
Kristen, first of all I admire your empathy and compassion. And I agree with everything you said except that the narcissist does not know they are abusing you. They may not recognize it as quote in quote “abuse” because the word has a negative stigma and they don't want to be SEEN as abusers. But they are very aware that they are hurting you and playing a sadistic game with you. They are bullies that get an emotional payoff by creating strife. They know exactly what they are doing on the surface level. And they don't care! I'd go as far to say that they ENJOY it. Now on the subsurface level, as for their understanding of WHY they treat people the way they do, they are unaware, for the most part, of their inner brokenness. They know they are not “normal”, but they don't have the tools or the desire to do any introspection. In fact the moment any evidence points at anything being THEIR fault, their defense mechanisms kick in and the justifications start stacking up and they once again convince themselves that THEY aren't the problem, not even partly, no way, no how. And they convince themselves of the lies and justify themselves over and over and over again. But they know what they're doing. They look at life as a game and they win by destroying anyone in their path. There is no logic, no reason. Deep inside they are just hateful miserable people.