Can a Narcissist be Fixed or Cured?
By Zari Ballard
A narcissist is not “fixable” because he or she is hardwired completely differently from the regular folks. Narcissists, no matter what we say, no matter how logical we make our argument, no matter what evidence that we present, will never cop to the fact that they need to be fixed. The narcissistic brain just doesn’t work that way. In other words, if you and I stood up in front of a room full of narcissists and kindly stated, “Look, we understand that y’all are broken people…and we want to help you to fix that because we love you”, they would laugh us out of the room! This just is what it is.
My ex-narc, the one I talk about in my books, once looked at me with “sorrow-filled” eyes and asked, “Can’t you fix me?” AFTER I had caught him red-handed in a lie and announced that I was “on to him” and that I knew what he was…a full-on narcissist. I may have even called him a sociopath since, at that time, years back, there wasn’t a whole lot of information available about this personality type and the terms narcissist and sociopath were used interchangeably. Either way, I believe that, in that moment, he was hearing narcissism called out in its true meaning for the first time and, as I would soon learn, he found this explanation for his horrid behavior oddly fascinating. More on that later.
A Narcissist is Not the Stuff of Myths
Truth be told, anyone reading this post looking for information on a narcissistic partner, has called out a narcissist for being what and who they are and if it were possible to “fix” or “cure” this disorder, none of us would be here. Narcissism is real and it’s obviously not the benign term for a “conceited, self-absorbed” person that we all grew up thinking it was. It’s not about some mythical character named Narcissus obsessing over his reflection in a pool of water. Oh if it were only that simple!
Narcissists do not want to be fixed because they actually like themselves the way that they are. This is the difference in the hard wire between a narcissist and us normal folk. Now, does a narcissist know right from wrong? Of course they do…but they just don’t care. All a narcissist knows is that when choosing what to do in any given situation, doing the wrong thing feels better and so they run with it. If the narcissist’s action causes harm and suffering to another, well so be it. It is what it is. The recipient of the abuse just needs to get over it or shut up.