When people say narcissists don’t love anyone, but themselves, is it true? What about their own children or parents? If you were married to one and had a 20-year relationship with them, isn’t that a commitment?
By Scott Carter
I actually just read a great article today about narcissists and what is really going on with them, it made a lot of sense. And that is that narcissistic people use superiority to avoid vulnerability and that perhaps a better name for NPD would be vulnerable avoidance personality disorder. Here’s the link to the article:
I have no doubt that they would be capable of love if they get could get over their fear of vulnerability but to them, feeling, showing and expressing love creates vulnerability and that must be avoided at all costs. If they were to experience love, it would result in degradation to the other person and even rage. I believe that it’s a complete myth that narcissists experience self-love. In fact, deep down they hate themselves, I’m convinced of it. They would never ever admit it because that would make them vulnerable. People who experience true self-love don’t treat others in the way that a typical NPD does. And like people with Borderline Personality Disorder, I believe that they desperately crave love but the need to remain invulnerable will win out almost every single time. When you’re dealing with personality disorders, they are often a walking paradox. They desperately crave love and intimacy but sabotage it every time. This is a special kind of personal hell, if you ask me.
Furthermore, I think that love is a very complicated word and concept. Abusive people use it and loving people use it. Narcissism breeds narcissism and so they grew up in a home where the idea and concept of love gets warped, distorted and passed down.
