How do I get over being with a narcissist?
This question was answered by Pseudonym Caswell on quora
The thing with narcs is they foster obsessive and addictive thinking in the people they choose to see as victims. So even if they’re physically removed from your life their bad spirit lingers. And lingers. And lingers. You feel like you’ve been marked forever by the sign of the devil, or a malignant imp of a shithead.
Singer Henry Rollins has a powerful song called ‘Liar’ - I tell you, it’s the Empath’s anthem to narcissists and sociopaths alike. He articulates the dual nature of these people and you’ll hear everything you’ve been through in that one song. Check it out on YouTube.
I will say, you DO get over them but you never forget. That’s a good thing though because if you ever come across one again you’ll see the signs early and get the hell out much quicker before they wreak the real emotional havoc they’re so well known for (which is what I’ve just done recently with another one that cropped up!)
And DO NOT GO BACK. They’ll pretend they’ve missed you and lay the charm on thick but I promise you they will revert back to their tired old awful conniving selves and it will be worse being back inside that toxic gulag that you’re stuck in with them.
Identify with what you’ve been through by reading up on Narcissistic Personality Disorder and those on Quora. Learn as much as you can about the condition.
There is no timeframe in getting over this. It’s hard not to take personally what they have dished out to you but KNOW they have treated and will continue to treat everyone else in the same negligible way. It’s how they get their kicks and how they generally live their lives. They really are shambolic sad-asses who are stuck with themselves until the day they draw their last breath. What a life!
Heal and surround yourself by enjoying the beauty of nature, animals, music, art, poetry, etc. and those who sincerely love and care for you. This is your time to re-connect as an individual and single entity.
In quiet moments, be aware of your breathing, put your finger on your pulse and really know your heart beats for the light in you and the inner peace you will find again.
YOU ARE SAFE now without this narc in your life. Be gentle with yourself. Do special things you enjoy and know you deserve to because of this trying time. Recovering from a narc is a sensitive time like no other and is a different kind of tumultuous experience compared to healing from a normal break-up. And remember, you were the chosen one … narcs only pick the most special individuals - that is, those who actually are who they can never be.
