Is a malignant narcissist more dangerous than sociopaths and psychopaths?

By Sonia Cee

I can only speak for my own experience. I was in a 1.5 year long relationship with a malignant narcissist. I knew something was “off” with him from the moment I met him. We met at a social event and I felt both a powerful connection/chemistry to him as well as this dreadful feeling, like my gut telling me to stay away. He was seductive and loved the chase. We added each other on Facebook and he pursued me for about 2 months before I agreed to date him.

All I have to say is this— I used to be agnostic/a soft atheist (like God probably doesn’t exist, there is probably no rhyme or reason, but I don’t care enough to think about it). After meeting my malignant narc, and one day seeing his beautiful blue eyes blacken over, seeing only blackness and emptiness in his eyes, in a way that is utterly inhuman, I started to slowly come to believe in something. I knew true evil existed, because I had seen it and experienced it. So according to Newton’s third law, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Evil exists. I have seen it. It is real. That means goodness must exist too. I slowly came to believe in God and eventually converted to Christianity. I cannot say that my malignant narc was a demon or possessed, but he certainly possessed satanic traits/dark powers that all religions and cultures believed in since the beginning of time… seduction, deception within deception inside deception, everything is a lie, not least of all the lies you tell yourself, how they corrupt you with your PERMISSION, you gave them your free will to do so. How they disarm people and manipulate people by making them believe that evil doesn’t really exist. How convenient for evil. Make believe evil doesn’t exist… that means you will never recognize it when you find it. How no depraved act, no sadistic pleasure, is enough to satiate their evil appetite… how their evil is just this black hole. How the evil person is not satisfied just hurting you, they seek to make you like them. They want you to be like they are. He took me down into a very dark place, where I had to look at my own soul, and either give it away or try to save it.

Just so you know how evil this man was… when I met him I was an innocent girl who only ever had 1 boyfriend before I met him. He pursued me relentlessly for 2 months. There was an idyllic honeymoon phase. During one of the lowest devaluation periods, he tried to groom me into prostitution because he got a sick pleasure from the idea of it. (Which of course I refused) He was a sexual sadist and he slowly started to make his sexual sadism spill over into other aspects of our relationship. During these rock bottom devaluation periods, he thought he was decimating me into the ground forever, but instead his cockiness made me feel anchored to sanity… I thought, this man is truly evil, I am not insane, it’s not me, it’s him. That’s when I broke free from his spell and escaped him.

Also— I call him a malignant narcissist and not a sociopath or psychopath because he also had all the traits of the most high functioning narc you can imagine. Sociable, intelligent, funny, charming with a polished false self. He made friends easily and your grandma, dog and 7 year old would all love him if they met him. He also had machiavellian qualities and would make friendships based on increasing his social status. He exploited a former ex girlfriend’s connections to build a company, exploited a former lover to build a current company, exploited everyone in his path. And he did all of this while making himself look like the good guy.

I do not think sociopaths and psychopaths have the capacity to play with people’s minds the way malignant narcs can. How they can make people feel powerless and insane, how they can use a person’s free will against them to make that person destroy and corrupt themselves. There are also incomplete or no studies, research etc done on malignant narcs simply because they will never land in a shrink’s chair, in prison or let themselves be examined. The only stories you can hear about them come directly from survivors.