Nicole Kidman’s father was on the run from an inquest in his participation in an “elite” pedophile ring.
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How long can a covert narcissist hide his/her disorder from a significant other?
By Sonia Cee
If they are a passive introverted covert narc with a 6th sense for honing in on naive empaths or sufferers, it can take a while for the victim to see it. Narcs don’t just go for any random person, especially not a covert narc. A narc isn’t going to date a person with average empathy and healthy boundaries and then out himself and shrug “well, I can’t hide that I’m a narc, it was your own fault”. They don’t create the settings for this to happen. They target empaths or sufferers or naive people and they rush the relationship so they can sink their hooks in with trauma bonding. They immediately discard people who they know will not be good sources of supply.
A covert narc is… covert. Their false self can be the image of an introverted, geeky, harmless type of person. Some with borderline co-morbidities etc are great at painting themselves as a victim.
Covert narcs tend to not attract or keep around mentally and emotionally stable people. They don’t seek people with healthy boundaries. I myself was not mentally or emotionally healthy nor were my boundaries strong, when I met my 1st cluster B ex, and when I met my 2nd malignant narc, I was in the middle of needing 3 surgeries within 18 months— my mental state was not sound. They can sense this. Now that I’ve done a huge amount of work on my core traumas, strengthened my boundaries, tremendously improved my confidence and sense of self… I STILL attract cluster Bs because they are drawn to my empathetic nature. I am also often told I am “sweet” and people have told me many times in my life that I have a wholesome aura. But this time I have the experience, skills and knowledge to spot them. Not everyone does. Most don’t.
I tried online dating sort of as a social experiment (no real intention to date at that time in my life) several months after I left my narc. I met 7 men. 6 were neurotypicals and 1 was not. It took me 3 dates in to see it although now that I look back, there were subtle red flags prior to that. I thought my complex ptsd was making me paranoid. He told me he liked me because I “seemed like a good person”. I was very vague about my past despite his attempts at trawling for information on my past relationships. I believe this man was a covert narc. The intelligent, nerdy, introverted type. He pretended to be whatever he was pretending to be, until cracks started to show on the 3rd date. I saw his emptiness and rage in the cracks. I ended the date and I blocked him without explanation. I’m sure he was pissed that he wasted his time trying to trap me and it blew up in his face. He was sure I was naive, empathetic or suffering enough to fall for his false self. He was positive he could outsmart me. He sensed I had traumas even though I never told him anything about myself in depth.
This was about 6 months ago… now my “narc-dar” is even stronger. If I had met him today I could spot him in 1 date. It is crucial for all empaths to have a very strong “narc-dar” as well as working through any traumas they may have, or else they are CATNIP for cluster Bs.
Now, I’m sure if he trolls the dating site hard enough, he’ll eventually find a naive empath who either won’t notice the red flags or will dismiss them. Empaths are good at making excuses for other people. That or he’ll find a sufferer to inflict more suffering on. Narcs like to rush relationships because they want their victim to trauma bond as soon as possible, because they know their chance of being outed are far higher if they take their time dating. They need to rush intimacy, profess their feelings for you very soon, tell you how special you are, how much they want a relationship and so on for only 1 reason— to hook you in so you will trauma bond, so you will stay. They don’t put all this effort into any average person. They intentionally seek certain types of people. These people are more at risk for “not seeing the signs” and at a very high risk for trauma bonding.
Narcs may not do this fully consciously, but nothing they ever do is by accident either.
May justice prevail.
There are some peculiar symbols embedded in the Washington DC map.
This shows what’s behind the celebrities that are so influential to the masses.
Do narcissists end any relationships themselves?
By Eva McElwain
Sure they do. Often. Even when in a relationship, they are looking for more. Scanning the environment for those who are in ‘better’ positions than themselves. They are always evaluating the social dynamic as it relates to ‘how they are doing’. They are envious of those who have more social capital and real capital than they have.
Their assessments are not always correct, but they think they are correct.
That’s really what they want—power. But power can take many forms. Money, attention, friends, respect, influence, access, love. (It can go from someone wanting to get into a movie in Hollywood to those who just want a roof over their heads.) Those with NPD will not be the same about exactly what ‘does it’ for them.
If they find an accessible pathway, then they will try to manage a way to have the current partner not find out they are attempting to negotiate a new relationship with another person. Long distance relationships are ideal for this. Although I think there is always a bit of ‘devalue’ in these relationships, even from the start, you will know they have secured ‘a side supply’ when the ‘real devalue’ begins.
The ‘real devalue’ helps them separate from the former supply. They are comparing. If they determine that the new relationship is indeed the ‘more’ they need, they will jump, thus ‘ending the relationship’.
But if they truly have NPD, this is never the end. Because at anytime, if the new ‘supply’ dies, divorces, becomes disabled or disobliging, they can come back and seek to rekindle things with the former ‘supply’.
Relationships with those with NPD will have similarities but will not exactly be the same. I have seen those with NPD stay in very long term relationships >20 years. So that means the relationship has provided them with enough of ‘whatever it is that they want’ and they feel that there is value in having the relationship and ‘keeping up appearances’. An example would be someone who is really homosexual, but has a heterosexual marriage and children as a distraction, having homosexual relationships or brief ‘flings’ on the side/ or a stable heterosexual marriage, but many heterosexual affairs on the side/ or bigamy.
Those with NPD never have enough ‘more’ they are always on the prowl for more ‘more’, whatever it means to them.
Not only have I been in relationships with them, I have spoken to them-at length about what it is that they want and how it is that they are going to go about it to get it.
Honestly, in a moment of weakness, if you would ask them, they would probably tell you.
